My dream has become my shadow

   

       Have you ever wanted to put your life on hold, ignore every one in it and just do something for yourself?
That is the point I am at.  If you don't know me I had my first daughter 2 months after graduating high school. I had to grow up fast.  I wasn't the party girl who shoved my daughter on my mom every weekend.  I started renting a house the day after high school.  I had been buying things here and there from freshman year so by the time I had my own rental home I had silverware, plates, pots and pans, kitchen table set and more. Thank god for my moms basement!

       I had the most horrid couch it was black and pink floral and it was on wheels and the landlord is a whole different story.  Anyway, I worked, my boyfriend worked and my mom and soon to be mother in law took care of my daughter for us.  I was a horrible cook that loved trying new recipes.  I was a horrible cleaner as well but I was a wonderful mother who stayed home all the time with my daughter and gave her 100% me

       I can tell you right now after having 3 girls I don't know when the last time was when I got myself a new outfit.  I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in 8 years.  3 girls make you broke but even when I do have the money to do something nice for myself I think of my girls and what they need and more.  So 99.9% of the time I think of my girls except on my birthday I go get my hair done and do something nice for myself.

       Back when I was in high school I never really though about college, my parents never pushed it nor asked about it but I always always thought about a pastry school.  It is still a dream that is far in the back of my mind but of course the only one is over 2 hours away and that is very hard to do when you have 3 little ones at home.

       I would love one day to own my own pastry shop and make eclairs, lobster tails, pies, tarts, puff pastries, and more but not cakes.  Don't get me wrong I love making cakes but I am not an artist and I am not a decorator so I will stick to my love of cookies, brownies, donuts and all the rest i said above.

 <-----my dream name

*sigh*

What is your dream?  Are you living it, are you putting it off, or are you wanting to still go for it?