Turning 30

In about 2 months will be the end of my life, I will start to shrivel, my bones will break and I will be old.....ok a little over dramatic but I will be 30.....

As you can tell I am not excited.  I have always been a little scared about turning 30 I mean I know it is just another number but hell I will no longer be in my late 20s and I will also now be checking the box that says 30-50! 

I just think of my life in the last 10 years and all I do is think of my three little girls, other than that there is nothing.  I am a stay at home mom and I have a hard time thinking of anything important I have accomplished in 10 years and I cannot think of much except those three things.  Don't get me wrong those three little girls are my life and I would never trade them in but I am almost 30 and have never

• Owned a home
• Gotten Married
• Gone to collage
• be stupid

Ok the last one doesn't make any sense but I had my oldest 2 months out of high school and I had to grow up fast. I didn't pawn her off with my mother to go to the bars or go hang out with my friends because at that time I was left alone and all my friends ditched me.  I stayed home and became a mom and a spouse.  I was learning how to work, take care of a family and pay bills, it was not easy.  It is not like I want to go out and be stupid and I absolutely hate bars and hate drinking, I just didn't get to be 19 or 21.  I have been 30 for 21 years.........

So I am going to cross out the be stupid one because now that just sounds stupid, I can still be stupid at 44 when all my kids are out of the house,right?

Own a home, it will come in time right?

Getting married? I always thought I would have this beautiful small wedding waaaaaaay before I turned 30 but the older I have been getting weddings are not so much of a big deal and I honestly really don't see the point in it anymore.  I have been in the same relationship for so long and had 3 children, what is the harm of not being married?  I am over the idea but if I ever do get married it would be for the girls to see, nothing for me.

and going to college I crossed that out because at 30 I will be starting college in the fall of 2016, pretty exciting stuff!  I decided to go back because I wanted to make something for myself.  The idea was to always go back to work when the girls were in school full time and now that my youngest is in pre school this year it made me think that hey I just don't want to stand behind a register or be a waitress not like there is something wrong with that.  I just wanted something bigger, I wanted to actually help out my household income and help give better things to the girls.  So here I am starting college and when my youngest starts first grade I will hopefully start my new job.  Super exciting stuff I tell ya.

So yes 30 is scary for me, maybe it is scary because I know there are so many changes that are bound to happen and I don't do to well with change.  I am a person that enjoys my comfort zone even if I hate it.  Bad thing I know but change is good so I have to keep telling myself that.

So on June 9th I am going to make my giant Oatmeal Cream Pie and sit in bed, eat, cry and watch Serendipity all day. I can do that because all my kids will be at school and I need the let me be depressed for just one day


and once I am done sulking I will lose 20 lbs well because I want to start my 30s off healthy and live another 30 years.

In the end I have loved my 30 years, I love the outcome of it so far even though it was never what I had planned.  I have loved being a mom to 3 amazing little girls and being able to raise them at home.   I cannot wait to see what the next 30 has in store.